hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
