i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I would ride that face into the sunset
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
