i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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