So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize