I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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