Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
