its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
