I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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