pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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