I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
