he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
