Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
