People with herpes should wear stickers.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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