No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You have to summon your inner elephant
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
