Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
