Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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