I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
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Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
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Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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