i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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