you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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