i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage