I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.