I murdered the dance floor call the cops
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.