I bet he comes in French.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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