Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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