barbara walters just said penis...
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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