Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize