i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
