what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
