According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize