I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
now i know why i became what i already was.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
