Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize