shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
