Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize