Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
