I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
