What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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