instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
