Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
