dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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