When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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