whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
