so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
