who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
My penis needs a shock collar
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
