I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
