Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
