Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize