Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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