Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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