Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
