Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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