I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
third nipple confirmed
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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