how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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