at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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