So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
