So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
