come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
