come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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