this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Randomize
