I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
