as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Also, beer. Big fan.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
