ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
