There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
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I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
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This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
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