If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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