ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
