:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
