Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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