And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
