so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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