yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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