I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
