i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
